The Winner Chronicles
by Soulreciever
Summary: The diary of one Quatre Winner detailing his thoughts and feelings on: preventer banquetts, Relena and his bigest mission since sandrock was destroyed! Opperation 1x2 or is that 2x1? Slash and shamless parody, read for escapism! 3x4x3 1x2x1


The Winner Chronicles.

T: I am aware that I have left ob. Persp. Hanging, it is deliberate! Any way welcome to my new fic in which Quatre acts a little out of character, Relena gets unforgiving bashing along with Hilde, the all your base joke gets a new spin and slash of a 3x4x3 and 1x2x1 nature resides. I do not own the boys and the idea for this fic is most likely inspired by the Bridget Jones phenomenon.

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Nov 5th: Preventer gathering eta 2 days.

I find myself more and more aggravated by the lack of social etiquette at such gatherings each and every time I am forced to go to one.

Not only do they insist on continuing to sit me next to _her_, despite polite protest, but they also assume that all of the guests appreciate the close quarter seating arrangements and casual conversation.

I am tempted to write a few instructions to them for this next gathering but Duo insists that if I send a request that Mr. Barton requires a foot of empty space around his person at all times, they will think me mad.

Yet did he not warn the same thing when I requested that my staff conduct conversations with Trowa through me? Yes, perhaps we lost a few of the more valuable staff members and a number of menial workers, but no one questioned my sanity did they?

Nov 6th: One day to go.

I think, perhaps, that I was experiencing caffeine withdrawal when creating yesterdays entry. This means that Duo has again been switching out tea at breakfast.

I would chastise him for the fact, if, I did not think that the caffeine rush he will experience from drinking my tea, will make him such an annoyance that Heero will finally carry out his continuous threat.

It may seem cruel to allow such brutality, but I find a perverse pleasure in the idea. For not only has the braided one been depriving me of my caffeine, but his not so subtle mooning has been aging me prematurely.

I swear by Allah that if I have to hear our auspicious leaders name mumbled with such breathy wonderment once more I will personally remove that braid and feed it to its owner!

Nov 8th: Aftermath.

I was seated _away_ from the Pink One at last, but rather unfortunately they sat her next to Heero instead.

Not only could I hear her horrific voice from three tables away, but Duo hijacked Trowa's seat and started whining.

Apparently I lost my temper with him mid way through the evening and proceeded to go Zero.

Thankfully I recall little of what occurred next, though I do have a faint memory of standing on the table and yelling,

"All your Trowa's are belonging to us!"

Never again shall I succumb to such shame and thus for the sake of my reputation I launch operation 1x2…or is that 2x1…

Bah! It does not matter as long as I get them together!

Nov 9th: Mission status: Grrr!!

How dense can one man be?

I spent all of my precious morning dropping hints to Heero and still nothing. Not even a flicker!

I begin to think that he is doing it deliberately to annoy me, after all not even Trowa showed this lack of emotional awareness and he's known little more than the battle field.

Will have my caffeine fix and re-think.

Nov 10th: Mission status: Ahhhhhh!

I forced myself to seek aid from Hilde, even though I would rather spend time with the Pink One than her.

Spent whole day listening to her talk about Duo.

The woman claimed that he was shy about his feelings, especially those considering Heero.

SHY!? Hmph, and I believed Heero dense.

Will find an alternate source of info.

Nov 14th: Mission status: Bliss…

Hmmmmmmmm.

I should have gone to Trowa for advice at the start of this mission.

Not only does he completely understand Heero's mentality but he has a wonderful way of displacing my stress.

He suggested that I actually tell Heero about this mission and hopefully he will be of mind to undertake it with all his usual precision and vigour.

I'll have to assure myself of his feeling first, of course, but Trowa had a plan for that also.

Will put it into action once I've relaxed a bit more.

Dec 1st: Mission status: Woops!

So content to enjoy life with Trowa that the mission has somehow become sidetracked.

I received a wake up call to this fact from a very miserable Duo.

Apparently while I've been away in la-la land Heero's been off guarding the Pink One again.

He's back today though and so I'm determined to place the plan into action.

Thus I'm gearing up my innocent expression and practicing my 'Space Heart' pains.

Dec 2nd: Mission status: Mwhahaha!!

It worked! I can't believe the Practically Perfect One actually cracked under the strain of guilt.

I must recall what a weapon my Space Heart is for the next time… Though Trowa did warn me to use the power only for good.

I promised nothing!!

Anyway, Heero's feelings confirmed and mission briefing handed over, the Perfect One has gone to plot.

Mwhahaha.

Dec 5th: Mission status: WHAT!?

Apparently as I have meddled this far I have to remain as a part of the mission team.

I had hoped that Yuy would be able to handle things on his own.

Bah! What a time for him to get all team worky on me!

I have been promised the reward of caffeine at the end and so I shall not fight him no matter the temptation.

Dec 6th: Mission status: Yawn!

I decided that meticulous planning is not all it is cracked up to be!

Yuy's great plan involves a time line so long that I begin to doubt how sure he is about this.

He tells me that,

"If you want something done right it takes time,"

But I still can not help feel that he is stalling.

It is a very romantic plan despite the point by point planning…

Ugh! Yuy, romantic, I never ever thought that I would use those two words in one sentence.

Dec 17th: Mission status: Woops again!

Wu-fie is coming to visit soon and his presence will surely complicate matters.

Not only because it is not within the plan, but also because he is an unforgivable prude who succeeds in crushing even the most romantic of moments without thought.

He also believes for some unknown reason that Christmas is an 'INJUSTICE' and thus will ensure that a key element in the plan is removed.

He must be sidetracked!

Dec 20th: Mission status: 4 days left!

Wu-fie has been successfully displaced by the utilisation of Sally.

Heh, if only he knew the truth!

Will have to tell him when this is all over, if only so that I can see his face when he learns that he has been outdone by a woman.

Dec 21st: Mission status: High alert!

Somehow the Pink One had gotten our location and is insisting on spending 'quality time' with Heero.

I swear that if I were not so sweet and innocent I would be tempted to do away with her myself!

As it is I am sure Duo will crack soon enough.

No one touches Shinigami's things after all!!

Dec 23rd: Mission status: One Day!!!!

After a telling off from Une about traumatising the Vice Foreign Minister Duo seems to have returned to normal.

It'll be sad to see it all end tomorrow, but I'm sure I'll find a way to cope… he!

Dec 24th: Mission Status: complete.

Heh, that'll keep him quiet for a while and perhaps it might even stop the mischief.

Dec 27th: Perhaps I should have thought this over!

Duo now has a meticulous partner who he can easily sway into aiding with his pranks.

Between the caffeine and the 'activities' from next door I have not slept since Christmas eve.

In other words it's much, much, worse than before!

Ugh! I'm going to do myself a favour and buy an island for Trowa and I to live on!!!


End file.
